The War on Fatherhood Has Moved to the Classroom

For those of you who have followed my writing for years, you know the drill. I used to be the guy with the funny stories. The lighthearted takes. The guy who wrote about the absurdity of modern life with a wink and a nod. If you scroll back far enough, you’ll find a different person.

I miss that guy. Honestly, I do. I miss the days when the biggest conflict in my life was a bad customer service experience or a traffic jam. But life has a way of throwing you into the trenches whether you volunteered for service or not. Over the last eighteen months, the tone here has shifted. It’s darker. It’s heavier. It’s become necessary.

I didn’t choose this fight. It chose me. And after diving headfirst into the legal and psychological meat grinder of the family court system, I realized I wasn’t alone. There is an army of parents out there, fathers and mothers alike, who are being systematically erased from their children’s lives. And the institutions we pay to protect and educate our kids? They aren’t just bystanders. In my experience with the Hinsdale New Hampshire School District, they are active participants.

The Psychology of Control: How Schools Become Pawns

There is a specific, insidious mechanism at play in cases of parental alienation. It’s not just about one parent badmouthing the other in the privacy of their living room. It’s about social control.

The alienating parent, the one fueling the child’s rejection of the other parent, knows that to win, they need allies. They need to control the narrative before the other parent even walks in the room. It’s a preemptive strike. They pull a teacher, a principal, or a guidance counselor aside and whisper the magic words: “The other parent is difficult. They’re abusive. Just… make sure everything goes through me.”

It is a brilliant, evil technique. Who wants to question a “protective” parent? Who wants to risk being the one who accidentally empowered an abuser? School administrators are risk-averse by nature. They take the path of least resistance. And in doing so, they become the enforcers of the alienation. Plus, let’s face it. Can you get a disgustingly more liberal place than a school?

New Hampshire HB1323: The Battleground

This is why New Hampshire House Bill 1323 is so critical. The bill seeks to define and penalize parental alienation, giving the courts teeth to stop this psychological cancer. But the opposition is fierce, and frankly, they are missing the point.

Opponents of the bill argue that “parental alienation” is a legal strategy used by abusers to deflect from their own bad behavior. They claim that if a child rejects a parent, there must be a valid reason. They operate on the assumption that the allegation of abuse is the proof of abuse.

But they never ask the terrifying question: What if the abuse never happened?

What if the “abuse” is a fiction planted in the child’s mind by the other parent? Once alienation reaches a severe level, the child doesn’t just parrot the lies – they believe them. They adopt the false narrative as their own memory. That is not protection. That is psychological abuse.

The text of HB1323 explicitly addresses the opposition’s fears. It states:

“Parental alienation shall not include protective actions taken in good faith based on reasonable belief of abuse or neglect under RSA 169-C.”

This is the safeguard. If a parent genuinely believes their child is in danger and acts to protect them, that is not alienation. That’s EXPECTED especially if you are a mandated reporter. The law protects good-faith actors. But it stops the bad-faith actors from using “allegations” as a shield to destroy the other parent’s relationship with the child. Currently, the system operates on a “guilty until proven innocent” basis. An allegation is all it takes to sever a bond. This bill attempts to restore sanity.

Hinsdale School District: A Case Study in Complicity

Theoretical debates about legislation are fine, but let’s talk about the real world. Let’s talk about what happens when a school district decides that their internal bureaucracy supersedes a court order. I am currently dealing with the Hinsdale, New Hampshire School System. My situation is not unique, which is what makes it so dangerous.

I have a court order. It is black and white. It states:

“Unless there is a court order stating otherwise, both parents have equal rights to inspect and receive the child(ren)’s school records, and both parents are encouraged to consult with school staff concerning the child(ren)’s welfare and education. Both parents are encouraged to participate in and attend the child(ren)’s school events.”

There is no ambiguity here. “Equal rights.” “Encouraged to participate.” – Granted, some of these things I will not be doing…especially from Florida. Yet, I still want to be part of my son’s education.

Despite this, Hinsdale School District has refused to grant me access to their PowerSchool system. For the uninitiated, PowerSchool is the digital lifeblood of modern education. It’s a cloud-based platform where parents can see grades, attendance, assignments, and school announcements. It is the primary tool for a parent to stay involved in their child’s education.

For a father living in Florida, trying to stay connected to his son in New Hampshire, this tool isn’t a luxury. It is a lifeline.

The Wall of Silence

I contacted the district three times over four months. I was polite. I was professional. I simply asked how to get access to my son’s PowerSchool account. Each time, I was told they needed my name and address to “process” it.

They mailed nothing. They emailed nothing. Silence. Nothing like a parent being disrespected by the school his son is attending. Finally, I escalated it to the principal. And this is where the mask slipped. This is where the “theoretical” danger of parental alienation became a concrete reality. Those who oppose New Hampshire House Bill 1323 really need to pay attention and get your heads out of the sand.

Instead of an apology for four months of incompetence, I was told, point-blank: “The child’s mother is in control and your name isn’t listed.” When I asked how to get listed, the answer was chilling: “It would have to come from her.”

Do you see the circular logic? The parent who is alienating the child, the parent who has a vested interest in keeping the father out of the picture, is the only person the school will listen to. The school has effectively deputized the alienator as the gatekeeper of the child’s education.

The Superintendent’s Failure

I didn’t stop there. I went to the Superintendent. I expected a higher level of understanding. I expected someone who could read a court order and understand the legal liability of violating it.

Instead, while friendly, he parroted the same line. He hid behind “policy.” He cited “what the mother has told us.” Think about that. A court of law has issued an order granting me equal rights to my son’s records. The Hinsdale School District has decided that “what the mother told us” overrides that order. They are choosing to listen to the parent who is causing the problem.

The System Is Broken

This is why we need HB1323. Without statutory definitions and protections, school districts like Hinsdale will continue to operate as enablers of abuse. They will continue to take the path of least resistance, siding with the “primary” parent because it’s easier than navigating the complex reality of shared custody.

Do I believe this is “intentionally done” by the school? At this point, not at all. But, they need to act soon or it will certainly look intentional.

I think I will give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that they have been running with “incomplete information of the family dynamics“. I have given them a few days to speak with their team of lawyers and either follow the court order or waste taxpayer dollars trying to fight me on it. I am prepared to file with the court if the correction isn’t made by the end of the week.

Parental alienation is a cancer. It metastasizes.

It starts with a bad word about a father or mother, and it ends with a school district violating a court order to keep that father in the dark. It robs children of half their identity. It teaches them that love is conditional and that truth is whatever the loudest person says it is.

The family court system has chanted the mantra of “the best interest of the child” for generations. But let’s be clear: Blocking a willing, loving, legally entitled parent from their child’s education is not in the best interest of the child.

If the Hinsdale School District continues to defy a court order, they are walking into a legal minefield. It will get expensive. It will get ugly. But more importantly, they are failing the very student they are paid to educate.

It’s time for the schools to stop being pawns. It’s time to follow the law. And it’s time for HB1323 to pass, so that “policy” can no longer be used as a weapon against parents.