Dam You, Brain! A Grunge Tribute to Survival and Radio Brotherhood
The Static in the Signal
I can’t believe I’m typing this, but I started my broadcasting career 30 years ago. That is three decades of dead air, hot mics, and coffee that tastes like battery acid. In the span of that time, I have worked with a lot of people. I’ve had multiple co-hosts and station managers drift through my life like static on a car radio – here for a mile, gone the next.
In spite of all that revolving door chaos, there was one constant. One static-free channel in a world of white noise: Topher.
Unfortunately, I can’t say that for many of my former colleagues. In my former line of work, image is far more important than kindness. If you haven’t learned that yet, turn on the TV. It’s a shark tank where the sharks smile with veneered teeth before they bite. I have learned that lesson the hard way over the last year. But Topher? Topher has always taken things as they come and extended that grace to his friends.
Here’s a man that battled brain cancer once back in 2015. He stared it down, beat it back, and gave us ten years of clear scans. And now… he’s battling it again.
It inspired me to do the only thing I know how to do when the world gets too heavy: write a rock song. Not some sappy ballad, but a track with 90s grunge grit, Nirvana-style guitar sludge, and the rhythmic tension of a Talking Heads breakdown. This is how I perceive his attitude about such a shitty situation.
The Lyrics: Dam You, Brain!
When you work in radio, you learn that silence is the enemy. But sometimes, the noise inside your own head is worse. Topher is facing a noise most of us can’t imagine, but he’s doing it with the same dark humor that got us through the morning show wars.
Verse 1: The Shadow Returns
Ten years clean scans
Doctor says it’s back
Leftover from twenty fifteen
Climbing up the tracks
Buried in the wiring
Deep inside his head
Shadow woke up angry
Saying I’m not done yet
There is a specific kind of horror in the “return.” It’s the sequel nobody asked for. The wiring metaphor here isn’t accidental; Topher and I spent our lives surrounded by patch cables and mixing boards. To think of the glitch being internal is terrifying.
Pre-Chorus & Chorus: The Defiance
He laughs because hell, he’s seen worse
Dead air, bad bits, chaos unrehearsedDam you, brain
Trying to pull me into flames
Dam you, brain
Scrambling signals in my name
I’m still on-air, still loud, still untamed
So dam you, brain
Spin it all again
We used to joke that if you can survive a four-hour morning show with zero prep and a hungover guest, you can survive anything. Topher is proving that theory right now. He’s treating this diagnosis like a bad caller—he’s not hanging up, but he’s definitely not letting them control the show.
Radio War Stories: The “Dirty Sanchez” Incident
The second verse digs into the archives. If you weren’t there, you might not get it, but every radio duo has that moment. The one that almost got the station’s license revoked.
Verse 2: Flashbacks
Radiation sunrise
Chemo in his veins
Short-term memory flickers
Like callers dropping mid-chain
Remember that stupid stunt
Almost got us banned
Dirty Sanchez morning
No one understands
If he survived that broadcast
He’ll survive this plan
The “Dirty Sanchez morning.” I won’t go into the specifics, let’s just say management had no sense of humor. But we laughed until we couldn’t breathe. That’s the bond. We walked through fire for a stupid on-air game, so I know he can walk through this. The chemo is just another form of radiation, another “sunrise” we have to get through before the show ends.
Bridge: The Beautiful Mind
This is not my beautiful mind
But it’s still my frequency
Twist the knobs, pull the plugs
You won’t silence me
Tick tick tick MRI
Tick tick tick nice try
I’ve killed bits more dangerous
Before sunrise
I wanted this bridge to feel like a David Byrne fever dream. The MRI machine is the ultimate metronome of anxiety, ticking away like a countdown clock. But Topher? He’s killed bits more dangerous than a tumor before most people have their coffee.
The Final Frequency
This isn’t just about cancer. It’s about the grit of our generation. We were raised on MTV, apathy, and loud guitars. We don’t fold easily.
Final Chorus & Outro
Dam you, brain
He’s outlived storms that tried to stain his name
Dam you, brain
He walked through fire for a stupid on-air game
You think you win? He’ll rise again
So dam you, brain
You lose this campaignFinal Outro
I rise, I rise
Through needles, noise, and fear
I rise, I rise
And I’m still broadcasting here
I always think moments like this are a great reminder to appreciate what you have because you never know when you will be without it. We spend so much time worrying about our image, our follower count, or the next career move. Meanwhile, the real battles are being fought in MRI tubes and chemo wards by the best people we know.
Topher is still broadcasting. Maybe not on the FM dial right now, but on a frequency that matters much more. And I’m just here to amplify the signal.
