Finding Vigilance
There are people threatening litigation when I speak truth about certain subjects. But I have no choice. People lied. People covered up. People tried to take me out. I am still here. I am more powerful than ever. And my story will be told. The saddest part is that everyone could have worked together with the goal of helping someone in crisis. Instead…well…victim blaming was on tap.
This isn’t a press release. It isn’t a comeback trailer. This post is the raw, unfiltered truth of a man rebuilding his life after loss, betrayal, and silence. That is why The Death of Parker Springfield is so important to me. My story isn’t unique but it’s hard to articulate for a lot of people. To those of you who have suffered and felt unheard…I promise…I am working on something for you.
However, right now, this crusty “old school” journalist needs to focus on this story.
The Final Days in My Home
I have four days left in the house I thought would be forever.
I fell in love the moment I pulled into the driveway. I didn’t need to see the inside. It felt right. Warm. Filled with possibility. It was the perfect family house – and more than anything else in this world, I just wanted a family. Not just to have one, but to protect and build one.
There were beautiful moments here, ones that matched the dream I had. But truthfully, the horrors that followed grew louder than the joy ever was. Now, it feels like I’m packing memories into boxes labeled “What Could Have Been.”
The Cabinet and the Photo
You know those cabinets above the fridge that no one uses? I opened mine.
Behind an old container I never remembered storing, I found a photo. Curled. Dusty. Forgotten. A photo of what I thought life was going to be.
I stared at it, and it stared back. It reminded me of how easily we believe in the dream. And how quickly people will rewrite it to protect themselves.
Under Surveillance: Let Them Watch
Let’s be honest: every post I write is being monitored.
There are people watching. Waiting. Hoping I mess up. Hoping they can twist my words. When you’ve got nothing left, you cling to the hope that the person you wronged will collapse.
But I won’t.
I’m stronger now. And I will NEVER let what happened to me be buried. Not by the court. Not by the silence. And not by those rooting for my failure. I just have to be a little careful on the approach and I am getting legal guidance.
Starting Over With No Plan
This is the first time in my life I don’t have a roadmap. No emergency backup plan. No spreadsheet. Just Monday.
Me. A few plastic totes. And a spark of something called Vigilance.
The Boat I’m Building
Right now, I’m looking for my liveaboard boat. I have a few I’ll be visiting soon. From this vessel, I’m building my digital production company. I played with dozens of names for the boat – some hilarious, some dark, some flat-out dumb. But one name kept calling back to me: Vigilance.
Honoring My Grandfather’s Legacy
Vigilance wasn’t just a clever name. It was the name of the WWII minesweeper my grandfather, Walter “Toaster” Antonivich, served aboard before earning the Navy and Marine Corps Medal for Heroism.
He was the kind of man people called “mean” because they didn’t understand trauma. I was told not to engage with him much. That he was hard. But to me, he always seemed amazing. Quiet. Steady. Strong. He always seemed really cool to me but I didn’t speak with him as much as I wish I did.
And now, years later, I realize maybe my grandmother pushed a false narrative about him.
That haunts me. Because I see it happening again. And I pray my son won’t fall victim to a false narrative about me.
When the System Fails
The court didn’t protect me. It silenced me. It wanted a tidy story – not a truthful one.
I lost my name. My voice. And worst of all – my son. But I didn’t lose me. And I sure as hell didn’t lose my will to speak the truth.
This Chapter Is Called “Finding Vigilance”
I’m not chasing perfection anymore. I’m chasing truth. Finding Vigilance is more than a boat. It’s a state of mind. A way of living. A tribute to legacy and survival. This isn’t a comeback. It’s a rebirth.
Call to Action: Find Your Vigilance
If you’ve been painted as the villain in your own story, I see you. If you’re starting over from rubble – you’re not alone. Let them watch. Let them screenshot. Let them whisper.
I’m moving forward. With intention. With a vessel. With a voice that won’t be silenced. And this time, I’m Finding Vigilance.
