The Dating Pool Could Use Some Bleach
If you’ve been navigating the dating scene for a while and are still asking, “Where are all the nice women?“, you’re in good company. I’ve been mostly single for about a decade, and let me tell you, it’s been a rollercoaster.
There’s the gorgeous hairdresser that doesn’t even have me in the friend zone, the closet alchoholic that stole money, the one that I picked up on a “ladies night” with some dudes hands on her ass. Most recently, the string along. Yeah. It’s been fun.
Most of my serious relationships have involved emotional wrecks, women addicted to something, or those still pining for an ex. Yeah, it’s been a journey, but it’s also given me some valuable insights that I’m going to share with you.
Why Does Modern Dating Suck?
The Illusion of Plenty
We’re in an age of abundance when it comes to dating options, but let’s be honest, it’s more like an illusion. With so many choices, you’d think finding a stable, emotionally available partner would be a cinch. Nope. Instead, it feels like sifting through a sea of emotional baggage, addictions, and unresolved love stories.
Social Media’s False Narratives
Social media can be a real buzzkill. It’s a highlight reel that can make your less-than-perfect love life seem even more inadequate. And when you’ve had a string of relationships with people who have their own set of issues, those picture-perfect posts can really get to you.
The convenience of dating apps has led to a culture of surface-level connections. And when you’ve been in relationships with people who have deep emotional or addiction issues, these shallow interactions feel even more trivial.
The Self-Comparison Trap
It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others, especially when your dating history reads like a cautionary tale. But remember, you’re seeing other people’s highlight reels, not their behind-the-scenes.
Ghosting: The Modern Exit Strategy
Ghosting has become the default way to say, “I’m not interested,” and it’s as frustrating as it is common. When you’ve been in complicated relationships, being ghosted without an explanation can feel like a slap in the face.
The “Too Busy” Fallacy
We all have commitments, but if you’re using “I’m too busy” as an excuse, you’re essentially sidelining your own happiness. I’ve been there, and it’s a lonely place to be.
How to Make Modern Dating Suck Less
After a decade of relationships with emotionally complicated individuals, I’ve learned the value of being selective. Know what you want and what you absolutely won’t tolerate. It’s better to be single than in a relationship that drains you.
Prioritize Depth Over Surface
If you’re tired of shallow connections, aim for depth. Put down the phone and engage in meaningful, face-to-face interactions. Trust me, it’s a game-changer.
Self-Care is Key
When you’ve been in relationships with people who have their own set of issues, it can take a toll on your self-esteem. Focus on self-care. Build yourself up so you’re not looking for validation from a relationship.
Be Real, Not Cynical
It’s easy to become jaded when your love life has been a series of complicated relationships. But don’t let past experiences make you cynical. Keep your expectations realistic and your heart open.
Make Time for What Matters
If you’re using the “too busy” excuse, it’s time to reassess. Make room in your life for meaningful connections. Your well-being depends on it.
…..so…in the end…
So, does modern dating suck? Based on my decade-long experience of mostly being single and having a series of complicated relationships, yeah, it often does. But it doesn’t have to. By being selective, seeking depth, focusing on self-care, keeping a balanced perspective, and making time for what truly matters, you can rewrite your love story.
I won’t lie—finding a meaningful relationship after years of emotional complexity is challenging. But if a guy like me, with my history, can find hope and a path forward, so can you. Now, go out there and make your next chapter a better one. You’ve got this.