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Home›Parker's Blog›Excuse Me. Can You Please Pass Frank?

Excuse Me. Can You Please Pass Frank?

By Parker Springfield
June 29, 2022
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So, this is gross.

I just discovered a vegan burger with a marketing campaign claiming that the patty tastes like “human meat“. Literally, the marketing for this is that the burger tastes like a human. It has won an award at this year’s Cannes Lions Festival of Creativity.

It reminds me of the old song about eating your friend. No, truth! You’re not aware of “Timothy” by “The Buoy’s”? Well, take a seat….listen to this:

Timothy *** The Buoys

The above song has an interesting story. I used to play this record as a kid. I wish I still had it but I believe I lost my interview with Rupert Holmes who wrote this song. Yes. The same dude that wrote “Escape (The Pina Colada Song)” also wrote a song about eating a dude.

The story goes when Rupert was 20 years old and had been in the record business for about a year, he was struggling and willing to do just about anything in the music business.

His friend, Michael Wright, was a junior engineer at Scepter Records recording studio. By the way…the same building Studio 54 was later in.

Michael had the keys to a recording studio on the weekend when it wasn’t in use and would go in and record songs with Rupert. He found a group out of Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania named The Buoys, and agreed to release one single that they would record.

Michael knew the label would not promote the song, but wanted to make the most of the opportunity. Rupert suggested they record a song that would get banned. That way, there would at least be some controversy about the group and another label might sign them and promote them. So Rupert tried to write a song that would get banned.

When this was released, some radio stations played it and kids would hear it and figure out what it was about. They would call and request the song, and the radio stations, surprised by the phone response, would then listen to the song to find out what it was about.

It did better than it was intended to do. It was supposed to just start a controversy, instead it actually was a hit. So, Rupert Holmes, 20 year old kid hungry not for human flesh, but hungry to do something successful in the music business did just that.

So, back to this “burger”.

A Swedish plant-based food brand Oumph! created a unusual flesh-flavored burger, which won a Silver Brand Experience. What’s it made of? Soya, mushrooms and wheat protein as well as plant-based fats and “a mysterious spice mix”.

Oumph! co-founder, corporate chef and head of innovation Anders Linden said developing a plant-based burger that tastes of human meat was “exciting, and a little bit scary”.

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